belated tslr articles- dec

Flairwatch

by Tom Stewart

An ode to Francisco

I know I say this a lot, but I have fallen in love. As I watch his tall frame flowing majestically around Gigg Lane, like a Ballet dancer or Torvill and Dean, I can’t control the strong erotic feelings pumping through my body and one word can be heard whispering on the wind.....”Francisco”

You see, to us real Flairniacs, a Spanish striker is a dream come true......it’s the pinnacle of flairitude. He has everything. Long hair, white boots, gloves, one of those silly scarf things, he nearly quit football to become a POLICEMAN and best of all- he’s played in SCOTLAND.

I love him watching him play....he plays a bit like a child, but a really big child. He has little to no co-ordination and often operates solely in headless chicken mode, he isn’t particularly good in the air for a man his size, he’s quick in a really weird way that isn’t actually that useful. BUT, as Gus has said before, his positioning is superb, and he will often be in the right place at the right time- a “fox in the box” if you will, or “zorro en el cuadro” in Spanish.

Francisco just offers us something different to our other strikers. Barnes is a decent goalscorer (despite his critics he IS our top scorer), but actually offers very little apart from that. In my view, if he doesn’t score in a game, he won’t actually offer ANYTHING else to the team. Glenn is superb and will never receive criticism from me. But I always see him more as a classic “number 10” type striker. Just off the main man, linking up well and generally being a flairy nuisance. Murray has also improved his work rate a lot since Gus arrived, and is actually very useful when defending set pieces. Gary Hart is, well, Gary Hart. It’s now what? Sixty games since he scored a goal? He’ll work hard, everyone knows that and he can’t be faulted in that department, but I’m just a wee bit confused as to why he’s actually still with us? That may sound harsh but it’s more from his point of view. There is definitely a level of football where Hart would be an excellent player, would play most games and probably score a fair amount of goals. Why is he happy just coming off the bench every now and again for us? I know I wouldn’t be.

Other players i’ve been impressed by lately? Well firstly, obvious players (Bennett, Painter, Calderon, Dicker etc.) aside, I’m a big fan of Liam Bridcutt. I’ve not really seen his type of player at the club before. He’s great at spraying the ball around, and is generally very comfortable in possession. He can defend a bit, and is certainly not afraid of a tackle. He’ll make the odd mistake here and there, he’s young afterall, but he’s a very viable alternative to the excellent Gary Dicker in my view, plus his style of play is very ANDREA PIRLO, which is obviously flair. Shame he’s not foreign really.

That’s all for me this month my lovelies, hope you enjoy Francisco as much as I do.