This is Ezequiel Calvente of Real Betis scoring for Spain in the recent u-19 European Championships, fitted with standard urban backing track
Wednesday 28 July 2010
Friday 9 July 2010
Top 15 Flairest GOALS ever part 3 (5-1)
5. Eder, Brazil vs USSR, 1982
The Brazil side of 1982 were possibly the flairest international unit ever. A swashbuckling attitude saw them sweep aside all that came before them, before they imploded against Italy. This goal typifies this side. A little nugget of audacity and extreme skill.
4. Tony Yeboah, Leeds United vs Wimbledon, 1995
For about a month, Tony Yeboah was the greatest player on earth, and this goal shows why. A sustained period of appalling football carries on until Yeboah, lurking around, thinks "oh for GODS SAKE", gets the ball, rampages past two two defenders before striking it harder than i have ever seen before. Incredible.
3. Mauro Bressan, Fiorentina vs Barcelona, 1999
Twenty. Five. Yard. Bicycle. Kick
Who the FUCK is Mauro Bressan?!
2. Matt Le Tissier, Southampton vs Newcastle United, 199...something
Matt Le Tissier is the flairest footballer ever. OPINION. This goal just sums up everything about the man, he could do things that basically no-one else could do and used his flairgical powers to keep the saints in the premiership year after year. Collecting the ball behind him he flicks the ball over one player, and then another, before casually passing it into the bottom corner, the whole thing looked like it took absolutely no effort, like he could do it in his sleep. THAT is why he's so amazing
1. Andres Vasquez, Gothenburg vs Orebro, 2007
Before doing a bit of research, i had NO idea who Andres Vasquez is. Apparently he is a Swedish/Peruvian left midfielder who currently plays for Zurich. But he will never, ever be able to better this goal. A perfect example of a player achieving 100% of what he is capable of. Vasquez picks the ball up on the right side of the box, before, at first glance, just chipping the keeper...however, look again, he performs what is known as a "Rabona Kick" (which i didn't know until now). The likes of Cristiano Ronaldo have used this method to peform crosses and passes, but never from distance into the top corner. What was Vasquez THINKING?!
The Brazil side of 1982 were possibly the flairest international unit ever. A swashbuckling attitude saw them sweep aside all that came before them, before they imploded against Italy. This goal typifies this side. A little nugget of audacity and extreme skill.
4. Tony Yeboah, Leeds United vs Wimbledon, 1995
For about a month, Tony Yeboah was the greatest player on earth, and this goal shows why. A sustained period of appalling football carries on until Yeboah, lurking around, thinks "oh for GODS SAKE", gets the ball, rampages past two two defenders before striking it harder than i have ever seen before. Incredible.
3. Mauro Bressan, Fiorentina vs Barcelona, 1999
Twenty. Five. Yard. Bicycle. Kick
Who the FUCK is Mauro Bressan?!
2. Matt Le Tissier, Southampton vs Newcastle United, 199...something
Matt Le Tissier is the flairest footballer ever. OPINION. This goal just sums up everything about the man, he could do things that basically no-one else could do and used his flairgical powers to keep the saints in the premiership year after year. Collecting the ball behind him he flicks the ball over one player, and then another, before casually passing it into the bottom corner, the whole thing looked like it took absolutely no effort, like he could do it in his sleep. THAT is why he's so amazing
1. Andres Vasquez, Gothenburg vs Orebro, 2007
Before doing a bit of research, i had NO idea who Andres Vasquez is. Apparently he is a Swedish/Peruvian left midfielder who currently plays for Zurich. But he will never, ever be able to better this goal. A perfect example of a player achieving 100% of what he is capable of. Vasquez picks the ball up on the right side of the box, before, at first glance, just chipping the keeper...however, look again, he performs what is known as a "Rabona Kick" (which i didn't know until now). The likes of Cristiano Ronaldo have used this method to peform crosses and passes, but never from distance into the top corner. What was Vasquez THINKING?!
Top 15 Flairest GOALS ever part 2 (10-6)
10. Saeed Al-Owairan, Saudi Arabia vs Belgium, 1994
I love solo goals where the scorer appears to have little to no control over what he is doing. This is the case here. Al-Owairan just ran. And ran. And ran. And ran until he found himself yards from goal. A cool finish capped off a great run and Saeed will now be remembered for this goal which saw him labelled "The Maradona of the Arabs" (that's actually true). Al-Owairan lost his hero status when he was convicted of drinking.
9. Georgi Kinkladze, Manchester City vs Southampton, 1996
Little was known of this pint sized trickster when he joined Manchester City in 1995. But 3 glorious years in east Manchester cemented his place in history as "a quite good footballer". This glorious solo effort sums up his career nicely.
8. Archie Gemmill, Scotland vs Netherlands, 1978
A goal known the world over for it's famous appearance in the film Trainspotting. In a match that Scotland, one of the tournaments favourites, had to win by 3 goals in order to progress, and this goal put them 3-1 up and on the brink of glory. Gemmill picked the ball up on the edge of the Dutch box before nutmegging two players, after this he showed great composure to slot the ball past the Dutch keeper. Scotland only won by 1 goal after the men in Oranje pulled a goal back, and failed to progress, Netherlands reached the final before losing in extra time to hosts Argentina
7. Matt Taylor, Portsmouth vs Everton
what the FUCK
6. Manuel Negrete, Mexico vs Bulgaria, 1986
This goal is pure FILTH and should carry a health warning. I have no idea who Manuel Negrete is but for this goal, I love him. Enjoy
I love solo goals where the scorer appears to have little to no control over what he is doing. This is the case here. Al-Owairan just ran. And ran. And ran. And ran until he found himself yards from goal. A cool finish capped off a great run and Saeed will now be remembered for this goal which saw him labelled "The Maradona of the Arabs" (that's actually true). Al-Owairan lost his hero status when he was convicted of drinking.
9. Georgi Kinkladze, Manchester City vs Southampton, 1996
Little was known of this pint sized trickster when he joined Manchester City in 1995. But 3 glorious years in east Manchester cemented his place in history as "a quite good footballer". This glorious solo effort sums up his career nicely.
8. Archie Gemmill, Scotland vs Netherlands, 1978
A goal known the world over for it's famous appearance in the film Trainspotting. In a match that Scotland, one of the tournaments favourites, had to win by 3 goals in order to progress, and this goal put them 3-1 up and on the brink of glory. Gemmill picked the ball up on the edge of the Dutch box before nutmegging two players, after this he showed great composure to slot the ball past the Dutch keeper. Scotland only won by 1 goal after the men in Oranje pulled a goal back, and failed to progress, Netherlands reached the final before losing in extra time to hosts Argentina
7. Matt Taylor, Portsmouth vs Everton
what the FUCK
6. Manuel Negrete, Mexico vs Bulgaria, 1986
This goal is pure FILTH and should carry a health warning. I have no idea who Manuel Negrete is but for this goal, I love him. Enjoy
Top 15 Flairest GOALS ever part 1 (15-11)
(In my opinion)
This is a bit of a hard one for me, and i've tried as hard as i could to not confuse "good" with "flair"
To attempt to demonstrate my thought process
This (Milan Baros' goal at roughly 2:40) is flair. For a start, it's an amazing team move.....not by Brazil, or France, or Italy, but by the CZECH REPUBLIC, also look at who scored it......is it Pele? or Van Basten? or Maradona? No, that man lashing the ball home is Milan Baros. Yes, Milan Baros. This is why this is flair.
And this isn't
Yes, it's a superb team goal, but at the end of the day, it's Brazil......what's so special about a great Brazil goal, it happens all the time
So here are my top 15 flair goals (without thinking that much about it)
15. Dalian Atkinson, Aston Villa vs Wimbledon, 1993
This is a superb individual goal by a player who, despite promised much, was fairly average really. Here Dalian, starting off in his own half, dribbles past player after player before casually chipping the 'keeper. The greatest moment of his disappointing career
14. Milan Baros, Czech Republic vs Netherlands, 2004
Euro 2004 was a superb tournament for the Czech Republic. Their attacking 2-1-7 formation took teams by suprise as they strutted to the semi-finals before coming undone against anti-flair elitists, Greece. This goal (2.40 roughly) came in a thrilling 3-2 win over the Netherlands in which the Republic came back from 2-0 down. Blonde mega hero, Pavel Nedved lofts the ball into the "Diabolical Freak" Jan Koller to expertly chest into the path of anti-goal machine Milan Baros who twatted it home. Superb from start to finish.
13. David Ginola, Newcastle United vs Some Foreign Team, 1996 or 97 or something
David was the star man in possible the flairest team ever. He had it all, Coffee adverts, Shampoo adverts,.........everything. (I was actually at this game which is the only reason i remember it)
12. The entire Sengal national Team, Senegal vs Denmark, 2002
It'd be unfair to single out one Senegal player for this goal, because in fairness, they all scored it (it was actually Salif Diao). Senegal made their World Cup debut in 2002 and stunned the world when they defeated champions France 1-0 in the opening game. This superb team goal came in a 1-1 draw with Denmark. They later went on to draw with Uruguay and beating Sweden in the second round before losing heroicly to Turkey in the quarters. It is for this great counter attack goal that they are best remembered for.
11. Eric Cantona, Manchester United vs Sunderland, 1997 or something
Quoi MEC?
This is a bit of a hard one for me, and i've tried as hard as i could to not confuse "good" with "flair"
To attempt to demonstrate my thought process
This (Milan Baros' goal at roughly 2:40) is flair. For a start, it's an amazing team move.....not by Brazil, or France, or Italy, but by the CZECH REPUBLIC, also look at who scored it......is it Pele? or Van Basten? or Maradona? No, that man lashing the ball home is Milan Baros. Yes, Milan Baros. This is why this is flair.
And this isn't
Yes, it's a superb team goal, but at the end of the day, it's Brazil......what's so special about a great Brazil goal, it happens all the time
So here are my top 15 flair goals (without thinking that much about it)
15. Dalian Atkinson, Aston Villa vs Wimbledon, 1993
This is a superb individual goal by a player who, despite promised much, was fairly average really. Here Dalian, starting off in his own half, dribbles past player after player before casually chipping the 'keeper. The greatest moment of his disappointing career
14. Milan Baros, Czech Republic vs Netherlands, 2004
Euro 2004 was a superb tournament for the Czech Republic. Their attacking 2-1-7 formation took teams by suprise as they strutted to the semi-finals before coming undone against anti-flair elitists, Greece. This goal (2.40 roughly) came in a thrilling 3-2 win over the Netherlands in which the Republic came back from 2-0 down. Blonde mega hero, Pavel Nedved lofts the ball into the "Diabolical Freak" Jan Koller to expertly chest into the path of anti-goal machine Milan Baros who twatted it home. Superb from start to finish.
13. David Ginola, Newcastle United vs Some Foreign Team, 1996 or 97 or something
David was the star man in possible the flairest team ever. He had it all, Coffee adverts, Shampoo adverts,.........everything. (I was actually at this game which is the only reason i remember it)
12. The entire Sengal national Team, Senegal vs Denmark, 2002
It'd be unfair to single out one Senegal player for this goal, because in fairness, they all scored it (it was actually Salif Diao). Senegal made their World Cup debut in 2002 and stunned the world when they defeated champions France 1-0 in the opening game. This superb team goal came in a 1-1 draw with Denmark. They later went on to draw with Uruguay and beating Sweden in the second round before losing heroicly to Turkey in the quarters. It is for this great counter attack goal that they are best remembered for.
11. Eric Cantona, Manchester United vs Sunderland, 1997 or something
Quoi MEC?
Wednesday 7 July 2010
Belated TSLR articles, number 2
And here is the april edition x
FLAIRWATCH
By Tom Stewart
For this months words of wisdom, I thought I'd focus on one of Gus' latest additions to the the Flair Orchestra, aswell as rounding up on a season that has been described as the "Festival of Flair".
Lee Andrew Hendrie was born on the 18th of May, 1977 in Birmingham. A product of the famous Aston Villa youth academy, which has produced the likes of Darius Vassell, Lee quickly shot to fame with a flurry of excellent performances in the Claret & Blue. Whilst at Villa, Hendrie earned his one and only England cap against the Czech Republic. This makes him the Albion's first former England international since sexy Dave Beasant acted as our chief custodian.
Whilst at Stoke, in an ill-tempered clash with Colchester, he swore and spat at home fans after fouling one of their players. In the same game, he asked if Kem Izzet fancied washing his Ferrari.
Lee is also a bit of a casanova. Having married his child-hood sweetheart, the marriage lasted a matter of MINUTES after it was revealed that he had been having a bit of side dish action, whilst neglecting his main course. In this instance, the garlic bread must've been phenomenal, as Lee walked out on his main dish, and ......chips (i couldn't think of anything else that could act as a metaphor for children), and moved in with the garlic bread. The Steak was not happy, and scratched CHILDISH insults such as "prick" and "wanker" into his £60,000 Porsche. After breaking up with the garlic bread, Lee started an a-list celebrity relationship with superstar Jade Goody. A friend of the former Big Brother runner-up stated "“Jade thinks Lee is the best thing since sliced bread because he’s rich and a fit footballer. Something is in the air.”". Hendrie's ex-wife, who is now coming across, as quite frankly, bitter, was quoted as saying “Lee was at it with women even worse looking than Jade while with me, so nothing surprises me." (source: "the sun")
The dream coupling was not to last, however, and as Lee's days at the top dried out, so did his chances with the Ladies.
Hopefully, whilst at the Flair Orchestra, Hendrie can recrapture the form that saw him once described as "quite good". He has hinted that he would like to jump aboard the flairboat, which, to be honest, who wouldn't?
The season started badly in the flair department. As much of a hero as he is, Russell Slade is more efficiant than flair. However, the signings of Bennett, Mark Wright (remember him?) and a Scottish goalkeepers were glimmers of hope. The thrashing at Huddersfield was a particularly highlight, but it wasn't until Poyet and Tarrico started bringing in their own players that the season really took off. Flair icon, Inigo Calderon, is looking like an actual footballer, and Lomana Lua-Lua's brother was another astute addition. A Slovakian Goalkeeper, the return of Seb Carole and Hendrie, (plus Diego "the invisible man" Arismendi) are indications that Poyet knows what the Flairniacs want- he is one of us. Hopefully he can build on this and bring in more players capable of cracking open the Flairrerro Rochers (phrase stolen from Brett Mendoza). Gustavo Poyet is becomming my favourite Human, and all is good on the south coast. People are starting to think like us, Flair Comrades.
My wishlist:
More Uruguayans (in particular centre backs)
A Spanish midfield playmaker
Lua-Lua
Some form of Asian
Calderon
Viva la Revolucion!
FLAIRWATCH
By Tom Stewart
For this months words of wisdom, I thought I'd focus on one of Gus' latest additions to the the Flair Orchestra, aswell as rounding up on a season that has been described as the "Festival of Flair".
Lee Andrew Hendrie was born on the 18th of May, 1977 in Birmingham. A product of the famous Aston Villa youth academy, which has produced the likes of Darius Vassell, Lee quickly shot to fame with a flurry of excellent performances in the Claret & Blue. Whilst at Villa, Hendrie earned his one and only England cap against the Czech Republic. This makes him the Albion's first former England international since sexy Dave Beasant acted as our chief custodian.
Whilst at Stoke, in an ill-tempered clash with Colchester, he swore and spat at home fans after fouling one of their players. In the same game, he asked if Kem Izzet fancied washing his Ferrari.
Lee is also a bit of a casanova. Having married his child-hood sweetheart, the marriage lasted a matter of MINUTES after it was revealed that he had been having a bit of side dish action, whilst neglecting his main course. In this instance, the garlic bread must've been phenomenal, as Lee walked out on his main dish, and ......chips (i couldn't think of anything else that could act as a metaphor for children), and moved in with the garlic bread. The Steak was not happy, and scratched CHILDISH insults such as "prick" and "wanker" into his £60,000 Porsche. After breaking up with the garlic bread, Lee started an a-list celebrity relationship with superstar Jade Goody. A friend of the former Big Brother runner-up stated "“Jade thinks Lee is the best thing since sliced bread because he’s rich and a fit footballer. Something is in the air.”". Hendrie's ex-wife, who is now coming across, as quite frankly, bitter, was quoted as saying “Lee was at it with women even worse looking than Jade while with me, so nothing surprises me." (source: "the sun")
The dream coupling was not to last, however, and as Lee's days at the top dried out, so did his chances with the Ladies.
Hopefully, whilst at the Flair Orchestra, Hendrie can recrapture the form that saw him once described as "quite good". He has hinted that he would like to jump aboard the flairboat, which, to be honest, who wouldn't?
The season started badly in the flair department. As much of a hero as he is, Russell Slade is more efficiant than flair. However, the signings of Bennett, Mark Wright (remember him?) and a Scottish goalkeepers were glimmers of hope. The thrashing at Huddersfield was a particularly highlight, but it wasn't until Poyet and Tarrico started bringing in their own players that the season really took off. Flair icon, Inigo Calderon, is looking like an actual footballer, and Lomana Lua-Lua's brother was another astute addition. A Slovakian Goalkeeper, the return of Seb Carole and Hendrie, (plus Diego "the invisible man" Arismendi) are indications that Poyet knows what the Flairniacs want- he is one of us. Hopefully he can build on this and bring in more players capable of cracking open the Flairrerro Rochers (phrase stolen from Brett Mendoza). Gustavo Poyet is becomming my favourite Human, and all is good on the south coast. People are starting to think like us, Flair Comrades.
My wishlist:
More Uruguayans (in particular centre backs)
A Spanish midfield playmaker
Lua-Lua
Some form of Asian
Calderon
Viva la Revolucion!
Belated TSLR articles, number 1
Hello disciple! Apologies for not posting much lately, but, World Cup aside, summer is a barren time for flair ramblings. Expect a World Cup FLAIRview next week, however.
Anyway, i completely forgot to post these two articles written for The Seagulls Love Review fanzine. These were in the March and April editions respectively.
First up is my March offering, enjoy
ALBION FLAIRWATCH
By Tom Stewart
When Tony Bloom made the bold step of employing a Uruguayan to lead his army into battle, I greeted the news with uncontrollable excitement. I have, for years, envied clubs with foreign managers. Look at some of the flairest "gaffers" to grace the English game- Jose, Ruud, Gianluca....the list is endless, and now this was happening to US. Dick Knight often seemed scared to go for the flair option- remember Winfried "Winnie" Schäfer? But now we have a man in charge who really understands what the FLAIRNIACS want from life- and that ideal is typified by one man- GUS POYET.
Many FLAIR enthusiasts consider Mark Mcghee's reign as the Albion's first "Flair Reich". Mark was a man who really understood what life was about. His love of foreign players (Turienzo, Molango, Carole, Bertin, Bagayoko etc.) and young English players with appalling attitudes (Knight) was a recipe for FLAIRsaster. Mark also won hands down in the attire department, with his love of White suits, making him a bit of a lady’s man. If truth be told, the style of play during McGhee's Reich was far from Flair in the non-flairniac world, but the real connoisseurs were able to look beyond this and see a man really trying his best. Throwing player's off coaches (not literally), falling out with the clubs top scorer (sound familiar?) and overseeing a reported RACIAL DIVIDE all contributed to a totalitarian flair regime,
Now Gus is leading the Second "Flair Reich". With an Argentinean at his side (Maricio Tarrico- who was an ANIMAL on the pitch), things are looking good. Gus's first major flairchievement was recruiting defensive maestro Inigo Calderon (who is my new hero). Inigo is a rampaging right back and has impressed fans with his play. "The Matador" was originally written off by the anti-flair mafia at the Albion, but even they must've fallen in love with the lovable Basque right-back. Not content with adding "Latino" to our racial quota, Gus landed a major coup, in landing Newcastle winger Kazenga Lua-Lua. "Kaz" is brother of "the dalai-lama of flair", Lomana Lua-Lua, who lit up the Premiership, mainly with Portsmouth. Kazenga has impressed with his rapid pace and trickery thus far, and is close to extending his spell until the end of the season. If you're impressed by those two (I conveniently missed out Sebastien Carole's third spell at the club), then you'll have liquids gushing from your every orifice at Gus' next move. Diego Arismendi is a Uruguayan midfielder, who has won the South American version of the Champion's League AND has played for his national side. Diego moved to Premier League flairists, Stoke City for £2.5m, but had struggled to settle in England. City fans that have been lucky enough to witness his two appearances in the famous Red & White stripes have praised his technical ability. Arismendi became so depressed with life in the midlands that he shaved all his hair off- who can blame him? He was also sent off in a reserve fixture for head butting an opponent. What really caps it off for me is that he forced his neighbour out of their luxury home, after causing them so much grief with his late night partying. Here's hoping he continues this down on the south coast. The fact that he signed for the club because Gus Poyet is his HERO proves that Mr. Bloom made the right choice. Gus seems fairly content with life down here, and for me, is the only man I want leading us out at Falmer (apart from Jose Mourinho or Kevin Keegan obviously), so here’s to a long and successful Second Reich!
Anyway, i completely forgot to post these two articles written for The Seagulls Love Review fanzine. These were in the March and April editions respectively.
First up is my March offering, enjoy
ALBION FLAIRWATCH
By Tom Stewart
When Tony Bloom made the bold step of employing a Uruguayan to lead his army into battle, I greeted the news with uncontrollable excitement. I have, for years, envied clubs with foreign managers. Look at some of the flairest "gaffers" to grace the English game- Jose, Ruud, Gianluca....the list is endless, and now this was happening to US. Dick Knight often seemed scared to go for the flair option- remember Winfried "Winnie" Schäfer? But now we have a man in charge who really understands what the FLAIRNIACS want from life- and that ideal is typified by one man- GUS POYET.
Many FLAIR enthusiasts consider Mark Mcghee's reign as the Albion's first "Flair Reich". Mark was a man who really understood what life was about. His love of foreign players (Turienzo, Molango, Carole, Bertin, Bagayoko etc.) and young English players with appalling attitudes (Knight) was a recipe for FLAIRsaster. Mark also won hands down in the attire department, with his love of White suits, making him a bit of a lady’s man. If truth be told, the style of play during McGhee's Reich was far from Flair in the non-flairniac world, but the real connoisseurs were able to look beyond this and see a man really trying his best. Throwing player's off coaches (not literally), falling out with the clubs top scorer (sound familiar?) and overseeing a reported RACIAL DIVIDE all contributed to a totalitarian flair regime,
Now Gus is leading the Second "Flair Reich". With an Argentinean at his side (Maricio Tarrico- who was an ANIMAL on the pitch), things are looking good. Gus's first major flairchievement was recruiting defensive maestro Inigo Calderon (who is my new hero). Inigo is a rampaging right back and has impressed fans with his play. "The Matador" was originally written off by the anti-flair mafia at the Albion, but even they must've fallen in love with the lovable Basque right-back. Not content with adding "Latino" to our racial quota, Gus landed a major coup, in landing Newcastle winger Kazenga Lua-Lua. "Kaz" is brother of "the dalai-lama of flair", Lomana Lua-Lua, who lit up the Premiership, mainly with Portsmouth. Kazenga has impressed with his rapid pace and trickery thus far, and is close to extending his spell until the end of the season. If you're impressed by those two (I conveniently missed out Sebastien Carole's third spell at the club), then you'll have liquids gushing from your every orifice at Gus' next move. Diego Arismendi is a Uruguayan midfielder, who has won the South American version of the Champion's League AND has played for his national side. Diego moved to Premier League flairists, Stoke City for £2.5m, but had struggled to settle in England. City fans that have been lucky enough to witness his two appearances in the famous Red & White stripes have praised his technical ability. Arismendi became so depressed with life in the midlands that he shaved all his hair off- who can blame him? He was also sent off in a reserve fixture for head butting an opponent. What really caps it off for me is that he forced his neighbour out of their luxury home, after causing them so much grief with his late night partying. Here's hoping he continues this down on the south coast. The fact that he signed for the club because Gus Poyet is his HERO proves that Mr. Bloom made the right choice. Gus seems fairly content with life down here, and for me, is the only man I want leading us out at Falmer (apart from Jose Mourinho or Kevin Keegan obviously), so here’s to a long and successful Second Reich!
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