And here is the april edition x
FLAIRWATCH
By Tom Stewart
For this months words of wisdom, I thought I'd focus on one of Gus' latest additions to the the Flair Orchestra, aswell as rounding up on a season that has been described as the "Festival of Flair".
Lee Andrew Hendrie was born on the 18th of May, 1977 in Birmingham. A product of the famous Aston Villa youth academy, which has produced the likes of Darius Vassell, Lee quickly shot to fame with a flurry of excellent performances in the Claret & Blue. Whilst at Villa, Hendrie earned his one and only England cap against the Czech Republic. This makes him the Albion's first former England international since sexy Dave Beasant acted as our chief custodian.
Whilst at Stoke, in an ill-tempered clash with Colchester, he swore and spat at home fans after fouling one of their players. In the same game, he asked if Kem Izzet fancied washing his Ferrari.
Lee is also a bit of a casanova. Having married his child-hood sweetheart, the marriage lasted a matter of MINUTES after it was revealed that he had been having a bit of side dish action, whilst neglecting his main course. In this instance, the garlic bread must've been phenomenal, as Lee walked out on his main dish, and ......chips (i couldn't think of anything else that could act as a metaphor for children), and moved in with the garlic bread. The Steak was not happy, and scratched CHILDISH insults such as "prick" and "wanker" into his £60,000 Porsche. After breaking up with the garlic bread, Lee started an a-list celebrity relationship with superstar Jade Goody. A friend of the former Big Brother runner-up stated "“Jade thinks Lee is the best thing since sliced bread because he’s rich and a fit footballer. Something is in the air.”". Hendrie's ex-wife, who is now coming across, as quite frankly, bitter, was quoted as saying “Lee was at it with women even worse looking than Jade while with me, so nothing surprises me." (source: "the sun")
The dream coupling was not to last, however, and as Lee's days at the top dried out, so did his chances with the Ladies.
Hopefully, whilst at the Flair Orchestra, Hendrie can recrapture the form that saw him once described as "quite good". He has hinted that he would like to jump aboard the flairboat, which, to be honest, who wouldn't?
The season started badly in the flair department. As much of a hero as he is, Russell Slade is more efficiant than flair. However, the signings of Bennett, Mark Wright (remember him?) and a Scottish goalkeepers were glimmers of hope. The thrashing at Huddersfield was a particularly highlight, but it wasn't until Poyet and Tarrico started bringing in their own players that the season really took off. Flair icon, Inigo Calderon, is looking like an actual footballer, and Lomana Lua-Lua's brother was another astute addition. A Slovakian Goalkeeper, the return of Seb Carole and Hendrie, (plus Diego "the invisible man" Arismendi) are indications that Poyet knows what the Flairniacs want- he is one of us. Hopefully he can build on this and bring in more players capable of cracking open the Flairrerro Rochers (phrase stolen from Brett Mendoza). Gustavo Poyet is becomming my favourite Human, and all is good on the south coast. People are starting to think like us, Flair Comrades.
My wishlist:
More Uruguayans (in particular centre backs)
A Spanish midfield playmaker
Lua-Lua
Some form of Asian
Calderon
Viva la Revolucion!
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