Top 10: Flair Premiership Players

10 Stan Collymore- Nottingham Forest, Liverpool, Aston Villa, Leicester City, Bradford City

"Stan the man" started his Premiership life as a Nottingham Forest goal monster before defecting to Liverpool's "Spice Boys" for a then record fee. The Striker combined pace, strength and a good eye for goal as he created a lethal partnership with Robbie Fowler. He revealed that the Liverpool dressing room was a hedonistic flair dungeon, with a total lack of discipline and frequent hotel orgies- one of the reasons as to why they are considered to be an all time top flair outfit. Collymore had a knack for irritating managers with his less than perfect attitude, and it didn't take long before Liverpool had had enough, and he was on his way to Aston Villa. more fallings out in the second city led to Stan moving once more. Short spells with Leicester, Bradford and Oviedo in Spain preceded an early retirement. Poor fitness and a shoddy attitude had ruined what was a highly promising career.
Off the field, Stan was less than a gentleman. It was revealed by a certain Swedish serial footballer humper that he had regularly beaten her. He was also caught participating in the flair sexual act of "dogging".
Since retirement, Stan had a brief acting and music career, befriending Ice Cube, before settling down with a media career. He now hosts a programme for "Talk Sport".


9 Hidetoshi Nakata- Bolton Wanderers


Japanese icon, Hidetoshi Nakata, was recruited to Bolton's flair ranks in 2005. Here he teamed up with fellow flairists Jay Jay Okocha and Youri Djourkaeff. Nakata burst onto the scene before the 1998 world cup when he announced that he would be the player of the tournament (whether he was is still open for debate), and later completed a dream move to Serie A side Perugia. Hidetoshi enjoyed a happy spell in Italy with Parma, Fiorentina, and Roma- where he won his first silverware. He was rewarded with one of the highest honours in Italy- being made a Knight of the Italian star of solidarity, for improving the countries image overseas. During the twilight years of his career, Nakata joined Bolton and flaired the shit out of the Premiership before retiring. Nakata is a fashion fanatic and has often modelled for high profile designers.

8 Edgar Davids- Tottenham Hotspur


After a long and successful career, "the pitbull" decided to wind down his career with Tottenham. He had previously enjoyed great levels of success in Italy aswell as his native Netherlands where he triumphed in the champions league with Ajax. His high octane performances earned him his nickname, and he was hard not to recognise with his blindness conquering glasses that he sported during matches. Davids was also given a lengthy ban for steroid abuse in 2001, which is what really earns him his place on this list. Davids is now trying to improve the fortunes of his boyhood icons, Ajax.

7 Jay Jay Okocha- Bolton Wanderers



Okocha was "so good they named him twice" and he lit the game on fire with his exquisite skills and natural ability. Always seen as an underachiever in world football, the Nigerian had been a key member of Nigeria' "golden generation" who were triumphant in the 1996 Olympics, but had struggled to settle at any club. He kick started Bolton's flair dynasty and helped keep them in the Premiership year after year, which his exceptional skills. Okocha left the club to play in Qatar before satisfying atheists everywhere when he claimed that God had told him to live in Hull. No-one seemed to question why God would send anyone to Hull. He helped Hull secure promotion to the Premiership before retiring.

6. Joey Barton- Manchester City, Newcastle United


Bad boy midfielder Joey Barton enters our list at number 6. Barton burst onto the scenes as a tough tacking midfield dynamo with Kevin Keegan's Man City and quickly established his place in the side. On the pitch Barton isn't particularly flair, he's just your average box to box midfielder really. However, off the pitch he is a different story. Barton has served several prison sentences for different assault charges, one of which was on a former team mate. Barton also one stubbed a cigar out in a youth players eye. Barton blamed alcohol for many of his "anger management issues" and is now tee-total. Oh, and his brother is a racist axe murderer.



5. Mark Bosnich- Aston Villa, Manchester United, Chelsea

"All I did was fall in love with someone and care about them deeply and I put them ahead of everything and so be it... As Martin Luther King said, 'life is not worth living unless you find something worth dying for'. And at that time, for me, that person was more important than football." Commented Mark Bosnich, he was referring to his drug problem and relationship with model Sophie Anderton. Bosnich is one of football's great characters. A top goalkeeper in his day, but constant partying and playboy antics hindered his career, right up until he was banned after testing positive for cocaine. Bosnich claimed that Anderton had insisted that every time she did a line, he had to have one too. Whilst at Aston Villa, he was fined after carrying out a nazi salute at Tottenham fans. Bosnich has now left his playboy lifestyle behind him, and is resurrecting his career in his native Australia.


4 David Ginola- Newcastle United, Tottenham Hotspur, Aston Villa, Everton


Ginola was the star man in Kevin Keegans Newcastle dream team. Some saw him as lazy and uncommitted, others saw him for what he was- a modern day footballing mozart. Capable of turning a game with a flick of his long, flowing locks, Ginola was insanely skillful and articulate on the ball. He combined a fantastic dribbling ability and a great passing range. He could score goals and set them up, he could literally do everything. Ginola left Newcastle sparking a major riot and joined Tottenham- where he is now a member of the clubs "hall of fame". Several joy filled years at Spurs were followed by less happy spells at Aston villa and Everton. Ginola also appeared in several adverts and has enjoyed a fantastic post-football life. He has acted, modelled and has won awards for the wine made on his OWN VINYARD!!!!!

3 Juninho- Middlesbrough

Osvaldo Giroldo Júnior, aka "Juninho" was a Brazilian international who inexplicably joined Middlesbrough in 1996. The small attacking midfielder lit up the Premiership at a time when foreign flairists were a rarity. Juninho would often be found playing football on the streets with local children, as he took the North East firmly to his heart. Juninho had three happy spells on Teesside inbetween fairly unhappy spells in Spain, Scotland and Brazil. He was a World Cup winner in 2002. Some could say that he was a trailblazer in terms of flair foreigners coming here, it's certain that football would be vastly different if it weren't for the tiny Brazilian.

2 Tony Yeboah- Leeds United


The big Ghanaian striker was the best player on EARTH for about half a season. Yeboah is the only player EVER to win successive "goal of the month" awards (Sept & Oct 1995). Yeboah attributed his success while at Leeds to his love of Yorkshire Puddings, and any aspiring footballer only has to see his sublime goals against Liverpool and Wimbledon to instantly reach for the Aunt Bessies. Injuries (possibly Yorkshire Pudding related) hampered his career in England, and a clash with new manager and anti-flairist George Graham led to an exit from the club. Yeboah scored 25 goals in 48 games. Scoring off the crossbar from far out is still known as "a yeboah" and should always be followed by running around wagging your index fingers shouting "YEBOAHHHHHHHH". Tony is now a chairman of Bechem Chelsea in his native Ghana.

1 Matt Le Tissier- Southampton

Matt Le Tissier was a one club man and played 444 games for his beloved Southampton. Le Tissier, aka "Le God" (which translates unfortunately into French) would constantly feature in the "Goal of the Season" competition and has scored some of the greatest goals ever. Born in the Channel Islands meaning he could play for any of the "home nations" and he chose England, unfortunately he was constantly overlooked by England managers, only playing 3 times. Le Tissier was more than just a scorer of spectacular goals though, he netted 162 times, basically from midfield as he almost single handedly kept the Saints in the Premiership. He also missed just one penalty in his career. His touch and guile was exquisite and he was one of the most naturally gifted players to ever grace the English game. The fact that he only played for lowly Southampton was his choice rather than it being a case of larger clubs overlooking him, and he very nearly joined Manchester United. Le Tissier retired in 2002 after netting the last goal at The Dell and now works as a pundit.